How to Avoid a Mid-Life Crisis (or Quarter-Life Crisis)

How to Avoid a Mid-Life Crisis (or Quarter-Life Crisis)How to Avoid a Mid-Life Crisis (or Quarter-Life Crisis)Peering out of the window of a skyscraper in New York City at the people hurriedly rushing to their jobs, I felt a sinking feeling in my gut. Just moments ago, I was one of them, and this had been my routine every day over the curse of my career dash to work to do a job that, even on the best days, felt like I was spinning my wheels. Deep down I knew something needed to change I just couldnt put a finger on it. I sat back in my chair, looked around at the white walls of my office, then back toward the window again. I thought Is this really all there is? At that point, I had a secure job in advertising backed by advanced degrees, I was making a good amount of money, and I was locationed to keep moving up within my company. To others, I had made it- but to me, I felt disconnected and disappointed day after day.Wow, I thought. I was only five years into my career, and I could al ready sense that I was headed for crisis. Perhaps you can relate? Or fear that one day youll find yurself at that point?Many of us departure out our careers with lofty ambitions, high expectations, and optimistic pursuits, yet somewhere along the line we hit a lull of confusion, frustration, and feelings of failure. Although the stereotype is that this crisis hits folks in their mid-40s, it is also known to happen (as was the case for me) in your 20s and 30s. As a career coach to people of all ages throughout the years, I have seen this happen many times to individuals who were able to successfully navigate their way through it.If youre feeling on the brink of a job crisis or in the midst of one right now, youre definitely not alone, but there are things you can do to help prevent or mitigate the event. No matter where you are on your professional journey or what age you happen to be, here are four steps Ive found that will help you avoid the dip or get you through to the other side .1. Take Time to Build Your FoundationThe best careers are built on a critical foundation that will stand the test of time and can weather the inevitable pitfalls youll encounter- things like your core values, passions, and strengths. Unfortunately, many of us dive straight into a job that we think looks good on paper and dont take the time to build this foundation, which can lead to upset down the road. But its never too late to go back to the basics. If youve never gone through this process or its been some time since you did, start by blocking out some quiet time to hone in on or revisit a few important things about yourselfWhat are your core values? Or, in other words, what matters to you most in life? Identifying your values can feel overwhelming, but there are plenty of resources to guide you along the way. Two of my favorites the free core values workbook offered by Dawn Barclay of Living Moxie and Danielle LaPortes resources for finding your core desired feelings- essentiall y another way of identifying the same thing.What are your strengths? Sure, you probably know some of these offhand (hello, interview question prep), but sometimes it can be most helpful to get other peoples impressions of you. Try asking 10 friends, colleagues, or mentors what they think your three greatest strengths are, and youll likely start to see some patterns. And, truthfully, the answers might surprise you- often our strengths are the things we do so innately that we dont even recognize them as something special.What are your passions? For some, this might seem like the easiest to answer, but a lot of people struggle with it. If youre not 100% sure, ask yourself questions like When do I find myself in the zone, both at work and in my personal life? What skills or talents come most natural to me? What gets me out of bed in the morning? What did I love as a child that still excites me? Collect your answers to these questions in one central place so you can start to see a clear imagination of yourself. Consider your current job satisfaction (or lack thereof), and see how this foundation relates. If you realize that key aspects of your situation arent aligning with your values, strengths, and passions, thats a clear sign that its time to start making some changes. On that note 2. Make Choices Based Off Your CoreWhenever you find yourself at a crossroads in your career- be it about accepting a new job, taking on new responsibilities, handling a conflict at work, or anything in between- remember to return to your foundation to help guide you. This way youre not making decisions based on whims or out of stress, but on how you intentionally want to build your career for the long haul. Here are a few questions worth asking before you make a choice How does this decision align with my core values, strengths, and passions?How do I truly feel about the decision I am about to make?How would the person I want to be handle this situation?How would I feel tomorrow if I make this choice today?For example, I worked with a woman who was offered a promotion at a higher salary, but the new position would increase her already intense travel schedule. While she was excited about the idea of moving up, she was conflicted about spending more time away from home. She was able to assess her decision more thoughtfully, with her values and professional aspirations as a guide, and decided to negotiate the terms of her promotion to an arrangement that was mutually beneficial. She is much happier with her decision, and her employer gets to grow the company. Win-win Without this level of clarity, you may make a decision that will disappoint later on. When making choices from your core, you can even start small As you face day-to-day decisions, like whether or not to delegate a task, do a quick gut check about whether it aligns with your core before proceeding.Ready to build a long-lasting career? Check out open roles at Wells Fargo3. Find Ways to Follow Curiositi esEven if youve chosen a career, a job, and a company based on your foundation, it doesnt mean youll always feel like thats the only gig for you. In fact, youre bound to have other things pop up that spark your interests, and I always encourage people to find ways to pursue them. After all, we tend to want what we dont have, and ignoring these curiosities or letting them fester could leave you with a sense that there is something missing and cause you to make some drastic career decisions. But by giving them a little bit of attention, you can quiet that sense of FOMO and maybe even become more inspired at your day job. For example, early on in my career, I became curious about photography and took some lessons on evenings and weekends. Picking up the camera and tapping into my creative side satisfied a need I didnt even know I had. After a couple of months of playing with the camera in my spare time, my co-workers even noticed a change in my mood and overall energy at work. I felt m ore inspired and less stressed because I had other interests in addition to my main gig. So look for opportunities to explore other interests in your free time. Whether its picking up a book, taking an evening class, attending a meetup group, or starting a side project, a few hours each week is usually all the time you need to dip your toe in. Or, you could look for opportunities to bring these activities into your job by taking ownership of special projects and initiatives. If you have an idea for a new sales strategy or a womens leadership program, for example, follow it You never know where your curiosity might lead you. 4. Dont Get Too ComfortableEven if youve built your career based on your foundation, youre making core-based decisions like a boss, and youre following your side interests in your spare time, dont stop there When things are going well, its easy to coast and get a little too comfortable. While you should enjoy the ride, its equally important to resist the urge to become complacent and continue to seek out opportunities that will stretch you and keep your mind fueled with inspiration. Continually checking in on your career journey allows you to stay on track or course correct if necessary, as well as explore the areas you want to push yourself to grow in. I recommend bi-annual career check-ins (put it on your calendar to stay accountable) to think aboutYour long-term goals, how youre progressing toward them, and what next steps will get you even closer Your accomplishments from the past six monthsAreas or skills youd like to learn or develop in the next six monthsWhats working in your career and whats not (and how you can change that)Of course, even if youre doing all of the above, you may still find yourself in a place of uncertainty or unhappiness. If this happens, think of this as a great opportunity to slow down, reflect, and re-evaluate some things in your life and career. One way to move through this time is to revisit your core values. You may discover that somewhere along the way, youve drifted away from them- or that theyre actually not your values anymore Set aside time to do a quick inventory List out what is going really well and what is missing. For the items in the latter category, see if you can create mini goals that will allow you to actively address them.Going through a professional crisis happens to the best of us and is just a sign of being human. For better or for worse, the pain brings with it an incredible gift to re-examine our lives and make better decisions. So while we do our best to avoid pitfalls in our career, rest assured that this period in time is a sign of better things to come. Photo of happy woman at work courtesy of Hero Images/Getty Images.